What Are Your Words Worth?
Some Unpopular Thoughts on RUOK Day
As someone who has been both very okay, and very not okay, let me tell you… This day feels like every attempt Scott Morrison has had at being Prime Minister. Like, you kinda tried, but you fucked up at basically every opportunity. You know?
Here we are. In 2021. California is on fire. We haven’t recovered from Australia being on fire last year. There’s the situation in Afghanistan which I am not even remotely qualified to talk about but is awful from an outsider's perspective. There’s a global pandemic that most of the world is sort of dealing with but our country is certainly not dealing with at all. Half our country is in lockdown and half are ignoring perfectly good medical advice. We still don’t have gender equality. Black lives still matter but you wouldn’t know it from the way our justice system (and most other systems, tbh) operate. The ocean was on fire the other day. Animals are adapting to new climates or dying out. The world is heating up. Churches and Christianity are being noticed as the abusive systems that many always knew they were. Stories are coming out from people who have been abused in churches and our own government. We date through apps, now. We women cross our fingers that the strangers we meet on the internet aren’t going to ghost us or kills us or bail on us last minute (yeah J, looking at you boo).
Thank god our workplaces are doing R U OK lunches though, right?
Meanwhile, while all of this is happening, and did I mention the ocean was on fire?!, we still have to get on with our 9–5’s and be productive. Gotta get that hustle. And don’t forget to feed yourself three meals a day, get 8 hours of sleep, and find time for both a social life and the things you’re passionate about and at least 30 minutes of exercise a day.
Don’t you fucking dare ask me if I’m okay.
I’m exhausted.
What I’d love to know is how anybody is currently okay right now. Please, can you write a book and send it to me? I’ll dm you my address.
Look, please hear me. I know that R U OK is all about recognising mental illness and bringing awareness and talking about it. I love that. I am so pro conversation about mental illness that I tell people before I go on dates that my psychologist is the best and my medication is excellent and has changed my life completely. I’m very open about it. And I recognise the need for this openness in our society and our circles and our conversations.
Something about this day seems to fall short, though. Asking each other if we’re okay while the ocean is on fire seems a little like… it’s not enough.
And I want it to go further than that.
I don’t want to just ask my friends how they are doing — and I will ask them, genuinely, how they are doing, as often as I can. I want more than that.
- I want to see support systems in place in our communities that give us something to work with when people say no.
- I want to see a corporate environment that encourages people to take time off for therapy/psychology appointments for free and without stigma.
- I want to see policy changes that don’t centre around wearing yellow and asking a question but setting up systems of change that advantage all people equally.
- I want to see access to therapy and psychologists in lower socio-economic communities because I know access to a psychologist is a privilege of my own middle-class wealth.
- I want to see education on mental health in all sectors of employment and education.
- I want to see mental health and trauma education infused into every fucking degree you could possibly study because it affects every area of our lives and the more aware we are the more we can stop the cycles.
- I want to see a better world.
Maybe, despite all of the not-okayness going on, I’m still an optimist, an idealist. Maybe I still believe in the world, in other people. Maybe I still believe in the best of humanity, that we can see change.
I don’t want to be asked R U OK. I want to see change.
